WHEN I WAS SINGLE AND COMING OF AGE

When I Was Single

When I was single and I was praying for a spouse, I LEARNED PATIENCE. I started dating at the age of 18 up until then I was sure I was not ready. Then I met a guy and fell in love; he was handsome, caring and I thought he was born again.

I was sure this was the man God had ordained for me. Barely 3 months into our relationship, I found out he had two other girlfriends. I was hurt, broke up with him and did not want to try again.

Friends and family encouraged me to keep trying, so I tried again. This time I met a man who was verbally abusive, never physically touching me but destroying my self-confidence with his words. I became cold, withdrawn and even more prayerful. By God’s grace I finally walked away from that relationship.

This time I thought I was through with men for sure, but the more I studied the word of God the more I was sure that there was someone out there for me. I wondered how I could get through the pain, but God saw me through he gave me a family that I could lean on when I was hurt and friends that I saw go through the same ordeal and finally get their own spouse.

After I was hurt, I LEARNED TO FORGIVE. I tried again and again and I was still unsuccessful. I wondered where all the good men had gone. Each time I was hurt and turned to God’s word, I heard the words forgive them.

The Bible states clearly in Matthew 6:15 “But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

Coming of Age

Finally I learnt how to forgive quickly and thoroughly, holding not the slightest grudge and keeping them as my friends. I started feeling free and light again, leaving every baggage from every past relationship behind.

Even after I was hurt, I LEARNED TO LOVE AGAIN. I never gave up in my quest, but put in everything into any new relationship. I loved again and again. It still was not working out as I expected. I vowed to never settle for less. through it all I held on to Gods word.

In Isaiah 34: 16 “Seek ye out of the book of the Lord, and read, no one of these shall fail, none shall want her mate: for my mouth it hath commanded, and his spirit it hath gathered them”

Finally on the ninth try, I met my spouse and got married. Then I understood that God had answered my prayers a while ago. He was just training me on how to make use of the 3 most essential tools crucial for a successful marriage – PATIENCE, FORGIVENESS and LOVE.

I realized I had passed the test every time in the past, as difficult as it may have been. I had come of age and received the prize. Now I had to draw back on those qualities; I had learnt in the past every day to ensure I have a wonderful marriage. 

Please do drop your learning points from past relationships and how relevant they are in your life now.